Fuzzy Dice and Car Fresheners of DOOM
by Dejichan4444
Summary: Yuki is on his way to pick up Shuichi from NG. It's raining. Yuki discovers some...odd things in his precious Mercedes.


Hey, it's Dejichan! I bring you a 1000 word drabble! I would've started the next chapter of "Returning Relations" instead, but I realized that I didn't have time to finish it. I like to end my chapters in one sitting. Don't ask why. Anyways, read, review, and enjoy! Oh, and note: If you don't know what pink fuzzy dice are, OR what car fresheners are, look it up on google. This is in Yuki's POV, btw.

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Yeah, today, I have to drive to NG to get the brat. It's raining, again. It's been like this for three fucking days! It's getting so damn ridiculous! I wonder if the brat has commanded the sky to rain, just so I could pick him up. What the hell am I thinking? He wants so much attention, 24/7! Ugh, the damn brat is driving me insane. He's gonna pay later on…Hohoho... He'd better write his will at NG before I come. In permanate ink.

And I was just getting into my novel when he called, too. And that's rare; I usually find my stories boring…because they're so clichéd and so damn stupid… WHY does anyone read them anyway? It's a sad world out there. That's why I stay inside, in my wonderful, quiet study. I was almost at the climax of my story, where the girl died, ect... I was VERY annoyed when HE called. He seemed excited, too, that I was picking him up. I think it makes him feel special, or something stupid like that. Maybe I should just let him walk home. Nah... I'll pick him up.

Yes, I'm picking him up. It's not that I care about HIM, but I don't need him to get sick all over MY apartment, and then give his sickness to me. I have better things to do than sit on the couch, coughing and sneezing and throwing up, or hearing him do what I just described, thank you very much. A sick person is not quite a pleasant sight, either.

Ah, my wonderful Mercedes. I have found you at last! This car is the only thing that keeps me sane, and it's practically the only thing I care about. It's so shiny...and red...and pretty... And it never nags and... you get the point.

Ahem, anyways, I sit in my seat and look into the mirror. I don't know why I do, but it seems logical at the time. Wait, aren't you supposed to look in there to make sure nothing is behind you? Well…what could be behind my car? It's a driveway for fuck's sake. Oh wait, I remember why. Last time I forgot to check, I ran over Shuichi's Kumagoro doll thing and "murdered" it. (I don't know WHY he left it out there anyways...) He was crying all day, and his wailing drove me nuts. THAT is why I looked into the mirror, to avoid that situation.

Wait… What's that in the mirror? It's...

_Pink._

_Fuzzy._

_Dice._

_In. My. Mercedes._

Oooh boy… Somebody's gonna get it… Shuichi…

Wait, I remember that from before… I think it's been here for awhile. Shuichi, the damn brat, must've snuck them in here. I told him to not even LOOK at my Mercedes. And to think, he even asked me to drive it once… I got a kick out of that, and said no, obviously.

Why hadn't I killed the horror of the fuzzy pink dice earlier? Did I forget? How can I forget these evil pink fuzzy dice things ruining my Mercedes? HOW? Did I possibly not notice them? They're so evil looking… How could I not look at them? I swear that they're laughing at me. I should rip them off my car. Yeah, that's an awesome idea. I should do that…

Later… It's not that I like them or anything. They're plain annoying, and…evil… But I really should be picking Shuichi up. I can't stand his constant whining and complaining when I'm late. Know what I mean? Yeah, that's it. So…for now…I'll just leave them there… Yup… I'm so smart.

Wait… I smell something… It smells like…strawberries…? What the fuck? WHY does my beautiful Mercedes smell like strawberries? I HATE the smell of strawberries! The brat's hair smells exactly like them. I don't know why ANYONE would buy that weird strawberry shampoo… Idiot… No wonder he accidently toasted the alarm clock once...

That's just one of the thousand reasons I hate that brat. He has bad shampoo taste, VERY bad shampoo taste. Is that even possible? Shampoo taste? Oh…who cares?

Ah, I see the source!

Strawberry.

Car.

Freshener.

_STRAWBERRY CAR FRESHENER!_

What was the damn brat thinking? Is he THAT stupid? I knew he was an idiot, but I never knew he had become elected as the king of idiots! WHY is he torturing me with all this junk? WHY was he in my car in the first place? Damn! That horrid smell is bothering me…a lot…

Well, let's just say, I'm pissed as hell. That thing has to go. Now. It's making my beautiful Mercedes look strange…AND smell funny…

Wait, this pink thing that looks like a fucking tree smells familiar. How long has it been here, for god's sake? I examine it. It looks old… Damn. So I've been driving this car with THAT smell in it, and I didn't throw it out or even notice it? Am I losing my sense of smell in my old age? No, it can't be. I'm not old, got that? But then why…?

Well, I'd better chuck it out the window. Now. It's disturbing me…and it's laughing at me… Yes, it is laughing at me. This has happened to me before... Inanimate objects seem to enjoy tormenting me. (Or is it because I hardly get any sleep? Nah...) Now, let me proceed with hurling this disgrace to mankind out the window.

No, you know what? I should REALLY be picking Shuichi up now, and yelling at him for hurting my Mercedes. THAT is a better idea. I'll throw the strawberry car freshener away later. Yeah. Later. I can put up with it for another few minutes. Shuichi is gonna be wishing he was dead when I'm through with him. Oh yes...

Alright, I'll go pick him up now. Really. I will. I promise.

Wait… Is that a pink-Shuichi bobble head over there? No, it can't be…

**Damn the pink fuzzy dice…**

**AND that stupid strawberry car freshener**…

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A/N: MUWAHAHA! Wasn't that funny? I thought so... Hehe... It just goes to show that Yuki really does love Shuichi, in his own special way. (That's why he wouldn't throw the stuff away! lol!) PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! THANK YOU! 


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